You deserve to understand exactly what is happening to you and your child — and exactly what you can do about it. This library was built for protective parents navigating a system that was supposed to protect their children.
Coercive control is a pattern of behavior used to dominate, isolate, and manipulate a partner or former partner. It is not always physical. It is often invisible. And it is one of the most dangerous forms of abuse because courts frequently fail to recognize it.
A pattern of acts of assault, threats, humiliation, intimidation, or other abuse that is used to harm, punish, or frighten a victim. It includes monitoring, isolation, financial abuse, psychological manipulation, and the deliberate destruction of a victim’s sense of reality and safety. Coercive control does not require physical violence to be devastating.
The Barron Foundation does not recognize parental alienation as a valid psychological concept. It is pseudoscience that has been consistently used to silence protective parents — overwhelmingly mothers — who are reporting genuine abuse. When a child resists contact with an abusive parent, that resistance is often a trauma response, not “alienation.” Courts that apply this label to protective parents are causing harm to children. Research confirms: the parental alienation label is disproportionately applied in cases where documented abuse is present.
Separation does not end coercive control. For many protective parents, it escalates it. Common post-separation tactics include:
The family court system is frequently used as a weapon of post-separation abuse. Abusers use litigation, false accusations, and court-appointed professionals to maintain control — and to exhaust protective parents financially and emotionally.
The misuse of court processes to continue coercive control after separation. This includes filing repeated motions with no merit, making false allegations to trigger investigations, demanding unnecessary evaluations, and using the legal process to drain a protective parent’s financial and emotional resources.
The Barron Foundation has seen consistently that the involvement of court-appointed professionals — guardians ad litem, custody evaluators, reunification therapists, and court-appointed therapists — frequently worsens outcomes for protective parents and their children. These professionals often lack training in coercive control, can be manipulated by skilled abusers, and add cost and conflict to cases that need resolution. Their recommendations carry weight courts rely on heavily. When those recommendations are wrong, children pay the price. This is not a criticism of every individual — it is an observation of a pattern that protective parents across America experience every day.
Research published in peer-reviewed journals confirms that abusive parents weaponize family courts to maintain control. Courts that prioritize shared parenting over child safety — without investigating documented abuse — are placing children at risk. Your experience is real. Your observations are valid. The system is failing you. That is what The Barron Foundation exists to change.
Documentation is your most powerful tool. Courts respond to evidence. Build your record systematically, consistently, and without emotion. Every text message, every incident, every exchange matters.
Family court is not designed for survivors of abuse. Understanding how it works — and how it fails — is the first step to navigating it effectively.
Not every family law attorney understands coercive control. Ask these questions before hiring:
Your child is watching you. How you show up — even when the system is failing both of you — will shape how they understand love, safety, and their own worth.
If your child resists visits or contact with the other parent, document it — their exact words, the date, the context. Do not force contact that puts them at risk. A child’s resistance to an abusive parent is not alienation. It is a survival response that deserves to be taken seriously — by courts, by every professional involved, and by the system that is supposed to protect them.
Courts may order contact anyway. If this happens, work with your attorney to request supervised exchanges, document every return, and note any changes in your child’s behavior after visits.
The Barron Foundation does not support reunification therapy. Forcing a child into a therapeutic relationship designed to restore contact with an abusive parent — regardless of the child’s expressed fears, trauma responses, or safety — causes additional harm. A child who is resisting contact with an abusive parent is not broken and does not need to be fixed. The system that ordered that contact needs to be fixed. If reunification therapy is ordered in your case, document your objection in writing and consult your attorney immediately.
If you or your child are in immediate danger, call 911. If you need support right now, these resources are available 24 hours a day.
These organizations have been vetted for their commitment to child safety and their understanding of coercive control. We do not endorse every position of every organization — but these are trusted starting points.
The Barron Foundation was built by a protective parent who refused to stop fighting. We see you. We believe you. And we will stand with you.
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